The WordPress team, arranging this blogging challenge, asked the question the other day: «What’s the best gift you’ve ever received?» Well … that was an easy one — My Life, of course!
In my teenage years, I felt like it either was going to last forever OR I couldn’t see one day ahead of me. Don’t know if it was just me who suffered from this misconception of time?! I also thought that people in their fifties were incredibly old! My friends and I used to imagine the year 2000 … figuring out that, in my case, I’d be forty five! Most of us doubted that we’d be alive then … it seemed so far away.
Now I’m fifty five and don’t feel ready to die at all. «Everybody wants to go to Heaven but nobody wants to go NOW!» 🙂 I’m still the same person … well, hopefully a bit more mature, but my mind is still the same. At some point in time — can’t say exactly when — I became more aware of that my future is finite, and this gift of life all of a sudden got more precious. It felt like my whole youth had vanished in a snap!
I don’t feel old per se, but I have come to accept that there are certain things that are over — things, that were part of a different phase of my life. I don’t mourn them, and I don’t keep on thinking that I am «old».
I remember how we, at work, used to wish intensely for it to be Friday, vacation or at least the end of the work day … many people yearning for retirement. Always wishing for time to go faster, somehow. ‘Faster to what?! Death?!’ Death is a part of life and it’s something that we all know is inevitable but most of us are really scared to talk about it.
Now, I don’t wish for any FastForward-button in life …perhaps rather Rewind and Erase buttons for certain periods. No! On second thought, I take that back … those tough times, that we all have experienced, have also taught us something and shaped us to what we are today. I often find that time seems to go by very rapidly and every day is precious.
I really am thankful for each sunrise I get to see — I’m looking at one right now! I don’t know the purpose of this life, but I got it and I’m living it the best I can and enjoying it. This is beginning to sound like the empty rhetoric you can see on any of all those motivational sites, but the difference here is that I really mean what I’m saying. I believe that even if you live to be 100, you want to see another sunrise unless you’re depressed/suicidal.
Don’t know that I have made a difference [yet] on any larger scale … on the World Stage … but hopefully on a smaller scale, I’ve sometimes made someone thankful that I’m around.
So … again … “the best gift” was a real easy one!