Not Topic

Here’s a guy who doesn’t have to worry about the ‘topic of the day’ … more importantly though, he has to worry about where the next meal is coming from. He probably thought I was bringing him white bread. Not so.

As I went to sleep last night, I was thinking about the list of topic suggestions I’d read in The Daily Post. Many of them are so deep and complex that I’d drop them like a hot potato. If my aim for all this was to have heated discussions … then I could have written about «Does everything happen for a reason?» That was one topic a few days back. I think that would inevitably lead to endless, religious discussions and likewise inevitably, the issue with major disasters of the world would be brought up.  None of us have the answers so I’ll just leave it at that. Whether I think it happened for a reason or that everything is totally random,can’t be of any interest to anyone. I also have to bear in mind that as I’ve chosen to have a public blog I must be prepared for all kinds of comments and critique. My husband and I have discussed that very topic a few times. I’m not very good at arguing — it feels like I always lose, and I’m scared of conflict.  The fact that I’m scared of conflict is something I should bring up with my therapist, if I’d had one and not blog about. Who can really win such a discussion anyway?! It’s all about a very private belief — not about who’s right or who’s wrong. There is no right or wrong here.

As I was falling asleep, this was the topic that was on top of my mind and my thoughts kept on wandering deeper and deeper. Was thinking of all the things that had happened on a personal level and how they, in hindsight, had lead to other things … and how strange that I only could think of the bad or sad things … not the happy events that after all must have occurred.  Thankfully, that only lead to one thing: I fell asleep!

On a much lighter note, I saw a Peregrine Falcon yesterday. I’ve been told that there are oodles of them here, and that they live underneath the bridge. Maybe it was the same guy who sat on our balcony, not too long ago 🙂

This was in Marsh Creek. There’s a long piece of land, sticking up in the middle of the whole thing, and I saw something moving … to far away to judge whether it was a gull or something else. Brought out the camera and used that as a pair of binoculars. To my surprise, I saw that it was a falcon. «Surprise», because the ducks in the water weren’t bothered at all … they kept paddling along as usual?!

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14 thoughts on “Not Topic”

    1. Ha ha! yeah that must have been the case 🙂 I've seen falcons there before and then the ducks get all flustered. This one was definitely not in hunting mode … he was just walking around there, and his feathers were a little ruffled.

      I watch too much crime TV too … in the long run it might make me too scared to even get out of the house…

  1. I'm not a deep thinker and usually get bogged down about half way through postings where my blogger friends have waxed philosophical. Like you, I don't like arguments, and always manage to keep myself well out of them. I like your blog because I get to see parts of a life and place where I will never be. Like the falcon, for instance. I've never seen one, and am grateful for the chance to see it through your eyes.

    1. Ah, me either …with regards to the deep thinking. Every now and then I touch upon subjects like eternity but I soon feel how my brain starts to get all wrinkled. I stay away from all that type of discussions … that has made me feel pretty good all throughout life. Many people seem to discharge of all their anger in their blogs and that's fine too because I don't have to get involved in it.

      Thank you so much for your kind words…

  2. Topics are hard to come by I think… I have a few that I would like to approach.. but won't….. I had a whole blog done yesterday about my dad..and his death… one page I went to in the midst of writing it froze and I lost the whole thing… can't re write it so I won't do it now… good photo… love the peregrine..

    1. Cheryl,
      Same here … I have a few too, but they're either too personal or too controversial.

      This blog is WordPress in the background, and it auto-saves every 60 seconds as I type. So I can only lose what I've typed the last sixty seconds. Not too bad. I remember in Multiply that I often thought that I should write up my posts in Gmail or some place that has the auto save function.

      What is it with the re-write by the way?! It must be something psychological that makes it almost impossible to re-write a lost post. Everyone seems to have the same problem…

  3. Your pictures are so beautiful…I have a great camera but still still don't know how you to use it right! Want to learn it so I can get pics like this! I have an Olympus E-510 !

    1. Well, when I bought it, two years ago, I was clueless. Had I not taken a short course in the basics of it, I think I would have given up and sold it… I'm really glad I took that..

  4. Love the top photo.

    I am terrible with confrontations and conflict. I have a 'weak' personality. I cannot hold my own in a fight. I cry. Then I am lost. I avoid confrontation at all costs. Don¨t need it.

    There was a series on tv a while back about depression. Most interesting. I have suffered from depression since I was 20. It is NOT just an off day or being in a blue mood. I have taken medication for it and survived with out medication. Was in therapy for a year. In that tv show there was something they said that almost startled me. They said that people who suffer from depression, tend to only remember bad things. That is totally me. On my birthday I might gets dozens of cards and wishes, but I will remember that one person who forgot. Or some other negative aspect of the day. I am glad to know that as I now consciously try to remember good things on a daily basis and when thinking of the past.

    1. Yes. I avoid it too at all cost … and then I hate myself for it and that probably makes me depressed. It's a vicious circle.

      I hear you … about depression. Quite often, people use that word very ….freely. It's a serious condition.

      About the show; That was interesting. I only remember the bad things. I must think long and hard to remember any happy things. Until now, I had believed it was that way for all people … just because I hadn't thought about it.

  5. I'm not generally afraid of confrontation or arguement. The problem is you will never change someone's mind in most cases so to argue is a pretty moot point and a waste of good breath. I guess I am a pretty happy person. I have always been more of a worry wart. The falcons are beautiful birds.

    1. Susan,
      No, in general I don't think I could change someone's mind or opinion about anything. There are times when I would want to, but I feel so uncomfortable with it so I just let it go. And then I hate myself for that. I'm more of a happy person nowadays than I used to be.

  6. What a fabulous blog Rebby!! As usual you got me thinking about a myriad of things. I thought I would share a bit about DEPRESSION. I have wrestled with this condition since I was 15. I was diagnosed with Clinical Depression many, many years ago. Have been to Psychiatrists & Psychologists & done intensive Psychotherapy combined with Reality Cognitive therapy for almost 5 yrs back in the 90's to basically tear down & re-assemble me mentally & emotionally. I can so relate to Juliana about the thought processes that go on in my mind. I can zone in on a dark thought from a 1,000 paces; happy thoughts are at a premium if I am not careful. I cannot take the medications as I always have serious physical effects. IF I was going to try one it would be Zoloft but even it gets a bit of a bad rap…..so I soldier thru w/out meds & do that best I can. Blogging makes me happy as does reading others' blogs. Being around Nylablue is sheer bliss. I enjoy when people bring their dogs or rabbits to visit. I watch ALOT of British Comedy; at least 2 hours a day. I pray alot. I allow myself to cry when I need to & to stay in if necessary. Most of my friends accept my Depression. Those who don't I distance myself from..including family. I gravitate towards upbeat people. I know I am still that "Smiling Depressive" my Therapist worked with all those years ago; at least now I love & respect myself & am willing to work at taking care of my needs. Not sure if that is a cure but it is progress & that is a huge accomplishment in itself…..
    Love the Falcon pic; he is gorgeous…..you always take such lovely photos……they make my day!!

    1. Sherriellen,
      I hear you … loud and clear. It's a serious disease. Too many people mix up the word 'depression' with an adequate reaction on something that's happened … The drugs scare me …more and more the older I get, it seems. I'm not depressed — at least I'm not diagnosed with it, but I think I'm sometimes prone to a very dark outlook on the world around me. I have that same thought process … I tend to only remember the bad things that have happened. Trying to remember some happy event is difficult. I don't know what type of people I gravitate to …if any.

      Sometimes I think one should have a separate blog for this type of talk….

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